My Dear Sadie

Unless you are truly a dog person/animal lover, you will never understand the loss of a pet. It really feels like an important person in your family has passed away. Those that do not understand will say: "But it only a dog-get over it" But for those of you who understand the love one feels towards their pet, you know it is not that simple.

When I lived in California, I got two puppies when they were 7 weeks old. They were sisters--born on 11.26.07. They were so cute and little. Sadie and Coco Chanel aka CeeCee were the names I decided on.

Team Reeses Pieces!

When I moved back to NY, I left my babies in CA. I was moving back into my dad's house and didnt know how Sparky would react to 2 new small puppies in his space. Fearing that he would not take well to new roommates, I decided it was best to leave them with my mom. I also thought it would be good for her to keep them with me moving back East so they could keep her company. I figured they were in good hands with my mom and nothing would happen to them with me gone.

12.1.09
1:45 a.m. I'm sleeping when my phone rings. It's my mother. I figured it was her forgetting the time difference again and not realizing just how late it is in NY. Turn over to go back to sleep.

1:46 a.m. Get a text message from my mom: "Please Call. Bad News"

2:00 a.m.
Mom: **crying**
Me: "Mom?? Whats wrong?"
Mom: "She died....She's dead"
Me: "WHAT? Who?"
Mom: "Sadie...she died"
Me: "WHAT!!!!! HOW????"
Mom: "She got hit by a car. She got out and ran into the street. He hit her. He didnt even stop....wasn't it her birthday?"
Me: "Yeah. Last week. They just turned 2"
Mom: "She's gone"

She's gone. My little puppy is gone. I remember when I was able to hold her in the palm of my hands. I used to be able to put the two of them in my purse. Those were my babies and now one of them is gone. Team Reeses Pieces is no more. I am so sad. To hear how heartbroken my mother sounded broke my own heart. Cee Cee is going to miss her partner in crime. Don't dogs get depressed too. The guilt I feel is undescribable. Maybe I shouldnt have left them--would she still be here if I brought them to NY over the summer like I had planned??? What if I never left CA? I feel like a mother who abandoned her children later to find out that they were hurt.

My dear dear Sadie. I will miss you. 11.26.07-12.1.09